berryfairyghost

It has been an uphill battle getting into the habit of cooking.

One way my AuDHD affects me personally is by adding to the psychological tangle that is my relationship with discipline and self-management. It has been difficult for me to develop habits without relying on other people’s structures in adulthood.

As such, I’m constantly trying to test myself as I try to figure out what internal structures I can build to help my brain carry on with task-work.

And I suppose the search for self-management tools is extra desperate as I fight through a lapse of un-medication.

But medication or not, I think part of having ADHD is understanding that you will always be evolving and always on the search for things that can externally motivate your INCU-based nervous system.

Cooking!

So, I want to develop the habit of *enjoying cooking at home.* It is good for the wallet, it is good for the environment, it is good for the health, it is a good skill to have.

Logically this is something I WANT to do.
meme of guy pointing at himself in the mirror, looking very serious

But my dopamine receptors... Where are they...?

Maybe prettifying the area a bit can help with motivation? As much as budget permits?

Scrolling down Pinterest and Caroline Winkler-pilled, it occurred to me:

"Wait, I like painting. I can make a painting for me. And it’s not a painting that I would have to sell. It would be making a painting.. For myself??? Not for a project to fit my'brand' / 'style' / aesthetic'?? Not even for a gift??? But for me to hang in my own home???"

Wow. ~the concept~ was oddly hard to grasp. All together now:

Thanks for the ruining hobbies, Capitalism

Maybe making personal stuff like that might help me break the art block curses I so often contract.